‘Tis the season for deep talk ✨

Plus, tips on tackling all that life admin

View this email online Hokyoung Kim for NPR Friends, Can we talk? The holidays provide us time to catch up with our loved ones, but having meaningful, free-flowing conversations isn’t always easy: those familiar family arguments at the dinner table, getting choked up by memories of seasons past or held up by endless errands, losing the thread of conversations as you run through the 15 mental tabs still open on your holiday checklist. But man, is there a lot to talk about! Millions are worried about safe holiday travel; the FDA just approved vaccine boosters shots for all U.S. adults; and parents are scrambling amidst sudden school closures  — it’s clear we could all use a check-in with our loved ones. A good conversation, whether with strangers or your closest friends, starts with being present, setting aside distractions and really listening. It’s an art and a real challenge these days, says Celeste Headlee, journalist and author of We Need To Talk: How To Have Conversations That Matter. In our episode on how to have better conversations, Headlee says communicating well is a matter of staying open and committing to the conversation. Here are some of her pointers on how to get talking: Put the devices away: One study showed that the mere presence of technology like phones and iPads distracts us from having deeper conversations. So when it’s time to talk to someone, put away your screens and give that person your full attention. (That email can wait!) And if you’re feeling Zoom fatigue, Headlee says it’s okay to turn off your screen. It’s been proven that phone calls can boost your mood and improve cognitive abilities. Focus on them: If you’re at a loss for words, encourage the other person to talk about their life — science tells us it’s inherently pleasurable to talk about ourselves! Go with the flow of those good feelings by asking open-ended questions. Be honest: It’s okay to say you don’t know something, Headlee reminds us. And if you’ve got something heavy on your mind, be it money struggles or end-of-life planning, don’t shy away from bringing it up with loved ones. Open, vulnerable conversations can make us feel less alone and help us normalize the ups and downs of going through hardships. Listen to the episode Newsletter continues after sponsor message Getty Images/Hero Images Clear the way for the holidays! Time to tackle those admin tasks Another way to ensure good communication? Acknowledging all the invisible labor you’ve probably got going during this time of year. Life admin — that pesky pile of household tasks like scheduling end-of-year check ups, organizing carpools, or signing all that paperwork you’ve been meaning to get to — is a common source of stress and distraction that can keep us from being fully present. Listen to our episode on managing adult responsibilities to learn how to quickly clear up some deskspace for gift wrapping and some headspace for warm chit chat by the fire. (Hint: we all have different administrative personalities!) In the meantime, we wish you delight in your Thanksgiving leftovers and joy in your conversations. If you’re bold, maybe even try connecting with a stranger — you never know where it might take you! — Andee Tagle, Life Kit producer What's stressing you this holiday season? Could your relationship use some healing? Are you working through a conundrum? Submit your quandary to Life Kit here or send us an email at LifeKit@npr.org. We'll share your questions with Dr. Andrea Bonior, a clinical psychologist, in a special holiday mailbag episode ❤️  Thanks for reading! Look out here for next week's episodes on:   👪 Productive arguments | 🥚 Egg freezing | 🏠 Being a kind neighbor Stream your local NPR station. Visit NPR.org to find your local station stream. What do you think of today's email? We'd love to hear your thoughts, questions and feedback: LifeKit@npr.org Enjoying this newsletter? Forward to a friend! They can sign up here. Looking for more great content? Check out all of our newsletter offerings — including Daily News, Code Switch, Health and more! You received this message because you're subscribed to Life Kit emails. This email was sent by National Public Radio, Inc., 1111 North Capitol Street NE, Washington, DC 20002 Unsubscribe  |  Privacy Policy