Do you consider yourself a good gift giver? I’d say I have my moments, but I’m inconsistent. My mom recently had COVID-19, and I coordinated gifting her a subscription to The Criterion Channel with my sisters. I felt good about my idea – we got her an impromptu gift that let her know we were thinking of her and helped her pass the time.
On the other hand, earlier this year, I completely forgot one of my sister’s birthday. I sent cupcakes as a belated happy birthday/I’m sorry gift, but only after she called me days later and kindly asked me if I was OK because I’d forgotten her birthday.
In a recent episode, Self magazine's editor-in-chief Rachel Wilkerson Miller shared her best tips on how to be a better gift giver. When picking out a gift for a friend or loved one, she recommends starting with what you know about them. (Actually remembering their birthday is up to you.)
Think back to recent conversations you’ve had with them – for example, did they say something about being excited to host a game night? “That's a great jumping-off point. Maybe you get them a puzzle or a LEGO set,” she says. If you want to go more practical, she says a carwash gift card is a good option for your friend who is always complaining about their commute.
With Valentine’s Day approaching, we asked Rachel for her V-day-specific, reasonably-priced (think a bouquet of flowers, not gold jewelry) gift advice. “I think it helps to pick a couple small nice things instead of one bigger thing,” she says. Go for a theme too, she says. “For Valentine’s Day, I think it’s fun to lean into the colors and traditions with your gift — it can elevate the smaller presents and make them feel more special.”
Photo Illustration by Becky Harlan/NPR
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Rachel Wilkerson Miller’s Valentine’s Day gift ideas:
I also love The Comfy which is less fussy than a robe or pajamas; people think it’s silly but then they end up loving it.
For your partner or spouse: Opt for things that feel really personal to them, especially if you're on a budget. One option might be a good old-fashioned coupon book; the trick with these is to make them so personal and specific that they communicate, I see you. I recently saw a coupon book on Twitter that I absolutely loved because the coupons were so clearly rooted in inside jokes.
Also don't overlook the value of a love letter, especially if your person really likes words of affirmation.
For yourself: Look for things that’ll make you smile or make your life better on a day-to-day basis. It could be something really practical like a charging station that gets your mess of cords under control or a portable humidifier that makes your car or office feel less arid. It could also be something goofy like lights you can submerge in water to make your baths a little vibier; a corn-shaped kitchen timer that brings you joy every time you see it on your counter; or just beautiful pens, markers or other stationery that you feel genuinely excited to use.
A parting piece of advice from Rachel, don’t try and reinvent the wheel. She says if your loved one or friend drops a hint about what they want, “it's totally fine to give them exactly what they want.” Happy Valentine’s Day!
— Clare Marie Schneider, Life Kit producer
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🎁 Gift on a budget 💸 There are ways to show your loved ones that you care without breaking the bank. Harper's Bazaar editor Tiffany Dodson shares how to give better, more thoughtful gifts — while spending less.
🌿 Buy sustainable gifts 🌎 Shopping secondhand can ease the environmental burden of consumption — and save you money! These three tips rethink what makes a present meaningful.
💐 Arrange supermarket flowers like a pro 🛒 Whether you forgot to order flowers for that special occasion, or you just want to flex a new creative muscle, here's how to DIY a professional-looking bouquet with grocery store flowers.
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