Thanksgiving is nearly here. Have you thought about what feelings you’re bringing to the table this year?
While the holiday season is meant to be a time of merriment and peace, for many, it’s often marked by a cornucopia of stress: travel woes, menu-planning panic, frenzied shopping, family bickering, that annual end-of-year existential crisis — or, all of the above.
As we near the end of our second lap of pandemic life, we’ve got even more on our plates than usual. Anxiety, tension, uncertainty and grief abound.
It’s easy for stress to become your main course — to lose sight of what matters most, or to be overwhelmed by the chaotic energy of a big group gathering. But, with just a few servings of intention and a pinch or two of planning, we can all add some joy back to the menu.
Just like any other day on the calendar, the trick to a good Thanksgiving is making sure to set your table for success. (And also pie. A pretty pie is always a good idea.)
With tips from a buffet of episodes, here’s our recipe for a gathering as sweet as the dessert table. (OK, have we officially taken this metaphor too far?)
🥧✨🧁✨🍮✨🍰✨🍪
1. 💌 Set expectations in your invite — Whether it’s your first Friendsgiving or your umpteenth family gathering, hosting is a delicate art. Our episode on how to host says it’s important to let your guests know what to expect ahead of time. Are you planning a potluck? Would it be best to have assigned seating? Masks inside? Practice proactive communication and let your guests make an informed decision about attending.
2. ⏲Cook smarter, not harder — When food writer Eric Kim hosts Thanksgiving, he makes the bulk of the food the day before and keeps his recipes simple. (Think: dried herbs, ingredients that are used throughout multiple dishes, and recipes that all cook at the same temperature.) That allows him to spend less time in the kitchen and more time with loved ones. Listen to this episode for more tips to simplify your prep.
3. 🗓Make space for tradition and ritual... The holidays will look different for a lot of people this year. If you’re mourning the loss of a loved one, make sure to listen to this interview on grief and the holidays with poet Tracy K. Smith. She says there’s comfort to be found in ritual. For her family, that’s a wish-making practice. For others, it might be breaking out Grandma’s china or baking a favorite dessert.
4. 🧪But don’t be afraid to experiment! If you’re reviving a family recipe, know that it’s OK to make it your own — just make sure to start small, go slowly and listen to your intuition as you make adjustments. That’s advice we learned in our episode aboutcarrying on a family recipe. And this doesn’t just apply to food. Don’t be scared to bring your creativity to your decor, your music, your games!
5. 👵🏽Engage your elders - Our episode on honoring your heritage through foodtaught us that food is a connection to the stories of our ancestors — and the stories of our descendants. If you can, make or share a meal together and ask to hear about family stories as you go, and …
6. 📝Record those stories - The pandemic has been a sober reminder that time is precious. Take some time to write down or record your famous family stories — or even just your dad’s notoriously horrible turkey jokes or your bff’s over-the-top gratitude ritual. What seems commonplace and accessible now will be treasured later. Here are a few tips to get you started.
7. 🔎💛Find the good - When author Suleika Jaouad reentered the world after years-long leukemia treatment, she found herself struggling with moving forward. In this pandemic world, a lot of us can relate. In her interview about dealing with isolation and life’s interruptions, she says it’s helpful to notice the positive changes brought about by big interruptions. Amidst this turbulent time, look for the good you’ve found and focus on carrying that good with you.
Here’s to a happy start to the holiday season, friends. May your cider be bubbly and — should you run into your high school crush at your hometown supermarket this year — may your flirt game be strong.
Could your relationships use some healing? Are you working through a complicated conundrum? Are you just so over it ... whatever it is? Submit your quandary to Life Kit here or send us an email at lifekit@npr.org. We'll share your questions with Dr. Andrea Bonior, a clinical psychologist, in a special holiday mailbag episode. ❤️
Thanks for reading! Look out here for next week's episodes on:
🥘 Family Recipes | 🥧 Pies | 👥 The Art of Conversation
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