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| This week at Life Kit, we’d like to make space for your stories. Here are some lessons learned from fellow Life Kit readers about their first queer experiences.
(Please note, submissions may have been edited for length and clarity, and full names have been rescinded for safety and privacy reasons.)
🌈Relish your identity and try not to be afraid.
I had my first (and, so far, only) queer relationship at 17 with a person I knew from my synchronized swimming team and middle school band. I’ve never felt closer to someone. I know that sounds cliche, but I genuinely feel like we connected in a way I never will again. We loved awkwardly, regrettably and secretly, not out to our parents or really at all, publicly. I wish we weren’t as scared…but what we had was beautiful for the time it lasted. Hold them close, savor the memories and relish your identity. — Molly
✨Asexuals exist.
I'm a sex repulsed asexual. I'm 40. I grew up in the 90s. We didn't talk about being gay, let alone something like asexuality. So I didn't understand. I tried to have relationships, but sex is a pretty big part of relationships. I talk to so many other asexuals who say that they spent so many years, just as I did, feeling like they were broken because we didn't know asexuality was something that exsisted. It would be nice to see something beyond gay, bi, lesbian and trans discussed, at this point most people are at least familiar with the terms. I think talking about the less well-known letters in the mafia would really help some people. — Erin
💖 Be true to yourself.
I didn't know I was nonbinary. I didn't know what nonbinary was or meant for decades. I called myself androgenous and felt pressure to conform to the male stereotypes that were prevalent in my society and subculture. I often drifted towards the more toxic depictions on men, and especially gay men, because it was a role that was easy for me to put on when I was with others.
Not knowing who I was corrupted my early relationships. It is so important for people to feel comfortable exploring their identity and sexuality in healthy, accepting and informed ways in a world with good representation. The destructive propaganda constructed by those to prop up their own sense of validity and importance has real effects on people. — Charlie
💞Representation matters.
I live in the South. I was raised in an evangelical household and went to a very conservative university. For a long time, I had no idea that I was queer. Finally when I came out to myself, it was incredibly freeing. Now, I’ve learned that loving someone and being loved in return is better than hiding. I know I’m lucky. I’m established in my career and don’t have to deal with the rejection of my family. As I’ve come out to my school community, it’s been encouraging. A student came out to me and told me it was encouraging to see someone as successful as me in a happy queer relationship. And I think that’s important. Representation matters. I’ve never been happier. —Marley
Schuyler Bailar, a transgender rights activist and former Life Kit guest for our episode on having the coming out conversation, recently introduced us to the idea of welcoming people in rather than having to come out. The idea, simply, is that you don’t owe anyone disclosure of your identity or your story – it’s your choice what to share and when to share it.
Thank you for welcoming us in and sharing your stories with us, friends. It’s a privilege, and we always have space for you.
— Andee Tagle, Life Kit producer |
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The Supreme Court overturns Roe v. Wade |
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This morning, the Supreme Court officially overturned Roe v. Wade, the landmark Supreme Court decision that has been protecting abortion rights since 1973. Regardless of our feelings on abortion, the decision has potential implications for reproductive health well beyond abortion – including types of birth control, fertility treatments and treatments during pregnancy.
That might feel overwhelming to navigate. A few weeks ago, we spoke to reproductive healthcare experts on your reproductive healthcare options if Roe v. Wade is overturned. |
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💡 What's a hack that's changed your life? 💡 Send us a note at lifekit@npr.org or leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823. Your life tip could appear on an upcoming episode of Life Kit or in our video series on Instagram! |
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