Photographs Unsplash; Collage by Becky Harlan and Trish Pickelhaupt/NPR
Hi y’all,
Have you ever gotten a piece of advice that really resonated with you? Maybe it came from a trusted friend, or it hit you at exactly the right time. Great advice has the power to change us.
When I was in my early 20s, an older (and wiser) cousin said something to me that I still think about. “Of your job, your relationship and your housing situation — only have one in flux at a time. Otherwise you’ll get overwhelmed,” she said.
I got this guidance because I was living in a windowless bedroom in Washington, D.C., disheartened by my job and questioning my multi-year relationship. Her advice was *ahem* well-timed and helped me realize that I needed to get at least one of those areas under control, ASAP.
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Back in February, we shared life advice from Dear Life Kit experts, and also asked for the best advice you had ever received. Y’all delivered. We got over 500 pearls of wisdom, and this week we’re sharing some of the best tips for keeping your relationships happy and healthy. These submissions have been edited for length and clarity.
👋 Ask for help. I’ve learned that it keeps me from trying to be an army of one. And people like to help one another, it makes them feel appreciated and seen for their gifts and talents. — Sara Smith
💐 My college pastor once told me, "don't send flowers when someone dies, send flowers when they are alive." That advice has always stuck with me. It reminds me to show my gratitude in the here and now. — Bethany Anderson
💌 You need to be a good friend to have a good friend. — Julie Rose
🙋♀️ Leave the party while it's still fun. Too many of us feel the need to stay too long in relationships that we know deep down were never meant to go the distance, in jobs we love but are meant to be stepping stones to greater challenges and growth that lies ahead, in the splendor of childhood innocence that's better kept as a sweet memory. — Jan Ketcham
🌩 My mom used to tell me, “The more people who become involved in a disagreement, the less likely it is to be resolved.” I have seen the truth of this play out in many situations over the years. — Jenny Hougendobler
🗣 How someone treats you tells you more about who they are than about who you are. How you respond tells them more about who you are than about who they are. — Nona Kahn
☕ Right before we got on a plane and moved to the Philippines (from Macon, Georgia) my favorite Auntie told me, "You're not going to be everyone's cup of tea, and that's OK. Your weirdos will find you." I was 8 years old and I have never forgotten it. It hasn't always been easy, but in the end I have always found my weirdos. — Beth McGraw
“You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea,” is advice I’m still trying to internalize. Working on it. Stay tuned, because we’re going to be sharing more of your favorite advice over the next few months. In the meantime, have a great weekend.
—Julia Carney, Podcast Coordinator
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