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| | You don’t have to bring up the S.T.A.R.S acronym directly with a partner, but using these prompts to think through your wants and needs can make it "much easier to communicate that with somebody — and communicate it early in the relationship," says Dacker. Life Kit’s Marielle Segarra and Dacker actually walk through how to talk about STIs in their conversation if you want to watch an example. |
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The S.T.A.R.S Framework for conversations around sexual health and intimacy: Sexual health: For example, when were you last tested for STIs? Which STIs were you tested for? Have you tested positive for one? Turn-ons: What are you into sexually? What would you be open to trying and when? Avoids: What would you like to avoid? Maybe you don't want to be physically intimate if you have had too much to drink, for example. Relationship intentions and expectations: Maybe you're looking for a monogamous relationship. Or maybe you’re more interested in a casual, consistent connection. Safety needs: Share what you need to feel safe, physically and emotionally. For example, maybe you’re not comfortable spending the night together yet. Dacker says the best time to raise the topic of STIs with a potential sexual partner is before your clothes come off (though, of course, it's never too late to discuss sexual health and boundaries.) One thing Dacker stressed is that STIs are just one of the risks we take on in relationships. “Some of the hardest things that people give you are not STIs. It could be broken hearts,” she says. We take a chance because the benefits are worth the risks. Hopefully, with S.T.A.R.S, you can manage those risks. -Clare Marie Schneider, Life Kit Producer |
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More from Life Kit on sex and sexual health: |
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💊 How to pick an effective birth control. Between pills, patches, IUDs, implants, shots and condoms, picking a form of birth control can be overwhelming. It involves understanding how birth control works, your preferences, side effects and more. We lay out the facts so you can choose the contraception that works for you. 👨❤️💋👨 Sex education often leaves out queer people. Here's what to know. School health classes in the U.S. rarely include instruction about sex for LGBTQ students. Here's what that could look like. ⚡️ Touch and pleasure are essential: Learn how to give them to yourself. Human touch is essential. Figuring out what feels good to you, from a long hot bath to something more intimate, can be the first step to getting that much-needed touch. (Yes, this episode includes discussions of sex and sexuality.) 🤝 Navigating consent is all about communication. Everyone has different boundaries. In this episode, we'll talk about what consent is and how to get clear about what you're comfortable with. 💛 What your teen wishes you knew about sex education. It can be challenging to have conversations about sex and relationships with teens. Life Kit has a few tips to help make those talks your kids feel more comfortable. And we have an episode about talking to younger children about the birds and the bees, too! |
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