J. Lo glows (and glows) (and glows) at her 'Shotgun Wedding'
January is an interesting time in movie theaters. Sometimes, films are coming out more widely in theaters that had earlier limited runs to quality for awards. But much of the time, it's a month of lower-stakes launches for lower-stakes projects -- like this year's Plane, an almost aggressively forgettable movie in which a bunch of guys shoot each other and Gerard Butler continues his action-dad evolution. But the idea of the January Movie even applies to films going directly to streaming, as evidenced by the Jennifer Lopez action comedy Shotgun Wedding, which arrived on Prime Video this weekend.
The plot is almost beside the point, but it is roughly this: Darcy (Lopez) and Tom (Josh Duhamel) are already well into their wedding weekend at a resort in the Philippines when we arrive. Her parents (Cheech Marin and Sônia Braga) are divorced and on bad terms; his parents (Jennifer Coolidge and Steve Coulter) are in love and ... very involved with the wedding. Other attendees include Darcy's dad's girlfriend, Harriet (D'Arcy Carden), as well as her ex, Sean (Lenny Kravitz), by whom Tom feels threatened even as he prepares to marry her.
Their wedding is about to take place when it is attacked by a band of pirates with very big guns. They take all the guests hostage by (actually in) the pool, but because Darcy and Tom were still waiting for their entrances, they escape the initial attack and wind up running around, Die Hard-style, trying to save themselves and their guests, gradually becoming more dirty, beat up and desperate.
Ana Carballosa/Lionsgate
Some of the marketing made it appear that this was a romantic comedy; it is not. It is a very (intentionally) silly action comedy. To say you will need to leave your attachment to reality by the gifting table is an understatement. The relationship between Darcy and Tom is mostly an afterthought -- the conflicts they have are lightly sketched and beside the point. The point is that they have to work together to save the day, beat the bad guys, and get married. Will we ever find out why their wedding was attacked in the first place? Yes. Will it matter a whole lot? No. There are some twists in store, but there is one image that dominates the film from start to finish, and it is the image of Jennifer Lopez, gorgeous and polished and perfect at all times, even when she's dirty or fighting.
There is not a moment when her makeup is not perfect. There is not a moment when her hair is not perfect -- perfectly nice or perfectly tousled. There is an entire scene that is devoted to her famous bod, its appeal, and its ability to transfix her fiance. Duhamel, who is very much a Hollywood Handsome Man, is just fine here, but one of his strengths as a lead opposite her is that his presence is not distracting. The first actor attached to Shotgun Wedding, back in the day (and before Lopez' casting was announced), was Ryan Reynolds, who remains an executive producer -- and that would likely have been a very different movie.
The biggest disappointment about Shotgun Wedding is that just like Plane, it features a clichéd brand of undifferentiated Asian bad guys. In this case, they're extra undifferentiated, because they mostly wear masks the whole time. Particularly in a climate of limited representation and rising hate crimes against Asian Americans, it feels ugly, and it makes it hard to see the whole thing as the romp it clearly wants to be. Not to make everything about Die Hard, but it is possible to put a band of criminals together who are not distinguished by shared ethnicity, and there's nothing about a story this silly that requires it -- even if you pretend it's taking place in the Philippines and not in the Dominican Republic, where much of it was filmed. (And why, by the way, couldn't it be set in the Dominican Republic?)
As somebody who likes a good action comedy -- or action thriller -- I'd certainly like to see this kind of stale thinking go out of fashion. If you can tell me that Jennifer Lopez never smudges her makeup and that her wedding dress only makes her look hotter as it disintegrates around her, you can tell me that the bad guys are literally anybody.
Accounting for that limitation, the movie does what it intends to do pretty well -- it's your basic "good time at the movies" movie, even though you'll be watching it at home. There's no denying J.Lo's charisma and her shiny hair, but she's pretty funny, too. This made me wish she did more pure comedies, because January movies deserve love, too.
I tried to make sense of the Oscar nominations with a few takeaways. Meanwhile, Aisha, Stephen and Glen had a conversation about them, too.
Remember when I mentioned that Glen liked Extraordinary? It's true!
And the raves continued with my enthusiasm for Natasha Lyonne in Poker Face.
It's probably no surprise that we revisited our discussion about Everything Everywhere All at Once this week, given its big showing in this awards season.
And I was joined by Ella Cerón, Marc Rivers and Margaret H. Willison to talk all things Shotgun Wedding.
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